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When to move on from your therapist

The choice for therapy is vast and confusing. There is a type of therapist for everyone and everyone needs a therapist. Even therapists themselves do. So how do we choose? What are the signs it is time to break up with your therapist?

Taking sides

Most therapists come from a good place - a good heart. We have so much empathy which is why we are in a helping profession. Taking sides however is disempowering to the client. It does not help. The therapist has only just allowed the client to be stuck in the same old thinking. A good therapist brings resolution and integration.

It is ego boosting to have your side taken but if you find you have left without a broadened view or new perspectives, it is time to move on. A loyal friend would provide that ego boost for free.

Getting caught up in the drama

Therapists are people with real issues. We really should know better than to bury them and deal with it. After all, we are native to therapy work, not tourists. When a client comes in with say a relationship issue, a therapist without cleared relationship issues will likely be triggered and find it hard to remain in a compassionate detached space. Once again, this is no help to anyone.

Judging or shaming you

Your counsellor says your problems are first world problems.... That you should be happy with what you have. Or that you should not be doing something... something you are already working on.

Feeling safe to express or talk about something that is confronting is a reason you go to therapy. You're not there to be judged as you navigate your issues. Feeling safe and supported is the only way to have profound therapy.

Likewise, a therapist should not impose her beliefs on you - even well intentioned religious beliefs. Everybody is guided by their own moral compass and have their path. Who are therapists to tell you the right way to go - the best motivation is intrinsic anyway.

Mismatch in therapy needs

A client who needs to talk it out - should go to talk therapy. There is always an amount of conscious talk that is needed. Parts therapy for conflict or perspective taking is always helpful. With all therapists, there will be tools to deal with immediate affliction of anxiety or negative feelings. Remember however, these are bandaid solutions to prevent a larger, detrimental reaction.

With needs that are habitual, it would always be helpful to go to a hypnotherapist who works with your subconscious. A hypnotherapist with regression skills can also help with negative self thoughts, confidence or destructive patterns. People who want to change undesirable habits know those habits are harmful. There really isn't a need to talk about it or be convinced of better ways to do things. What they need is a re-programming and the only way is to work on the subconscious level.

Somatic work goes into the physical level. Trauma and emotional issues can present themselves this way. Psychotherapy or somatic depth therapy allows you to delve into the cause - and the release of the underlying emotion can usually eliminate the symptoms. Again, there is only an amount of talk that can help. Most of the time, clients are not aware consciously of the real cause and require help from the subconscious and body to resolve those lessons.

All the best

Healing is a layered process and self awareness is very powerful. Give yourself a pat on the back for every issue resolved and don't be disheartened that new issues surface. The fact is you are on your right path and to a better destiny because you have taken responsibility of your healing. Kudos to you!

Sending you all unconditional love.
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